Very powerful article about how together, we will end rape.

“If you’re a girl or woman you shouldn’t be out at night”. This is what I’ve been taught since I was younger. It’s almost as though I should’ve developed a fear of darkness and most importantly a fear of men. I did listen to this rule for a while. I avoided certain places and people; carefully existing. But recently I experienced why this rule was enforced. A few weeks ago I was with a friend, coming home from Eastern State Penitentiary (the “haunted” prison in Philly). It wasn’t too late, around 10:30. Now for those of you who are not from Philadelphia, the 69^th street terminal is a pretty sketchy area to be at any time really. During the summer I had my share of strange encounters with interesting people going home at night. But I never felt the horrible feeling I experienced with my friend before though. There is no point in going into fine detail about who harassed us. The only important detail is that we were harassed. By over six men- touching our hair, cornering us, telling us how pretty we are, asking us where we live, one going as far as to spit in our faces for telling him to leave us alone. I felt truly sick and frightened that we couldn’t escape them. We’d walk away from one, only to be greeted by another. For the first time in my life, I felt helpless. I looked around at some of the people waiting for buses and none of them helped us. They didn’t care. But they did acknowledge the continued harassment. A few even walked away to avoid it. Once we finally got home, I felt ashamed. For several reasons but it was unclear as to why I should feel ashamed. I didn’t do anything wrong. In this society, two girls going out together to have fun means they should feel ashamed? This angered me. I called my boyfriend to tell him what happened and I ended up saying “I shouldn’t have worn a dress”. He was shocked that I blamed myself and explained I should wear whatever I want without feeling scared because of it. Of course I already knew this and even preached about the Slut Walk to other people. But I can’t help but notice when I wear a t-shirt and jeans, have dirty hair and wear no makeup, men leave me alone. They are making me want to dress for them, but to repel them. I have never dressed for anyone in my life. Fashion has always been very personal for me. Now, the thought of dressing for someone else has crossed my mind and I hate that. Once again, a rage comes over me. Not only are there people directly attacking me but the people who stood back and watched indirectly attacked me. I don’t think it’s wrong to ask for help from people if needed. I am a strong independent woman but I’m not afraid to ask for help. The issue is there is no help. But “help” is the wrong word. There is no solidarity. People did not see two people being harassed that night, but two girls who deserve it for wearing a dress this late at this place. It’s almost like those bystanders were punishing me for the fact that I’m a girl. Sadly, what occurred that night will happen again. It’ll happen to me, to my friend and sister, to the woman next to me on the bus and the young girl walking home from school. All women are in this battle. Men are in it too. They should be fighting against the men who objectify women. Teach them what’s right. I do understand it will be hard to keep fighting these men from changing me. I don’t want to dress differently, or avoid places, or be scared of people. I want to exist happily and freely.